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All these sleazy, twee little double-entendres are not my style. If I fuck a woman, I will tell you. You will be the first - or more likely, the third - to know. I repeat, I did not screw Linda Shoesmith.She screwed me. I never had to move a muscle. Quite how she managed to be so ... well ... physical ... with all that lot hanging from her chest, I do not know, but no doubt it's a question of sustained practice. We performed our act on the living room carpet. The television was on, but I cannot for the life of me remember anything about the show. For me, this is a damning indictment of the quality of British daytime television.What I do remember was Linda's mountainous breasts flopping massively against my face every time she bucked like a top of the range rodeo rough-rider mounted on my (admittedly no-more-than-average) prick. I never saw Linda's face throughout the entire process, although afterwards - when she had rolled off with a sigh - we kissed wetly and noisily for a while as. I think she wanted to get Madge a little blitzed. You know what they say, ‘Chocolate is nice, but liquor is quicker.’ Anyway, I decided I would probably need more than one before this evening was over. Before I started talking, I took a big gulp of my drink. I must have finished off half of the glass’s contents in one swallow. I got a strange look from all three women; they probably weren’t accustomed to seeing someone chug a really strong drink.“Ladies, we are gathered here for several reasons. I just now learned of one of those reasons that will affect all of us greatly. I will get to that reason shortly.“Phyllis, you have been curious as to how Charles made his money. Mary told me to explain it to you.”“Who is Mary? I don’t think I’ve met her.”“I will get to that momentarily, Phyllis. I already told you part of this story, but one thing at a time. Some years back, Charles was hiking and found something that he called a Time Scope.”I stopped to open the box and remove Mary. I set.
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